What if your biggest disadvantage was actually your greatest gift?
The Uncomfortable Truth
The world is cruel. Yes, it is.
If you were born with privileges—good genes, a prosperous country, a loving family—life might feel smooth and enjoyable. You might not think too much about survival. You might not question your worth every single day.
But if you were born with little or no privileges—in a country ravaged by war, with limited opportunities, unable to access education—life can feel absolutely miserable. And here’s the worst part: you can’t change it. You didn’t choose your circumstances. You didn’t ask to be born into struggle.
Your heart cries for fulfillment. Instead of getting it, what you receive is endless disappointment. Disappointment after disappointment, until you reach a point where you don’t see any reason to exist.
I know this feeling. I’ve lived it.
My Journey: Between Privilege and Struggle
I can’t say I was born with no privileges at all. I do have some. But I’ve also experienced limitations—things I couldn’t do, things I couldn’t have, doors that remained closed no matter how hard I knocked.
Even with my privileges, I couldn’t escape the feelings of jealousy and despair. There were always people who had more than me. People who could experience life more fully. People who could make mistakes without being punished harshly by life.
Let me introduce you to two friends who taught me important lessons about privilege—and its unexpected costs.
Axel: The Curse of Good Genes
I had a friend—let’s call him Axel. He was born with a good physique: six feet tall, handsome, effortlessly charming. Girls giggled and shyly accepted his gestures wherever he went. It was painful to watch.
When standing next to him, girls’ eyes would never fall on me. I was built differently—shorter, less conventionally attractive—and I felt invisible. As a teenager longing for love, my heart was genuinely hurt. I knew my chances were so low compared to his. It was frustrating beyond words.
That was my first reality check. I hadn’t received the “privilege of genes.”
Harry: The Burden of Wealth
Another friend—let’s call him Harry—was the son of a famous entrepreneur in my hometown. Oh boy, he was rich. He could spend all day in franchise restaurants, eating imported food without hesitation. And yes, he could easily attract girls with his money, offering comfort and an easier life.
Once, we both liked the same girl. Without hesitation, she chose him over me. I could offer her my ambition to become an entrepreneur someday. He offered her the comfort of money, right here, right now.
Guess who won?
That was my second reality check. I hadn’t received the “privilege of wealth.”
The Difficult Road I Chose
After high school graduation, I began my journey. I wanted to build my own business and find true love. It was a painful road from start to finish.
Business struggles: Out of seven businesses I started, only one succeeded. Six failures. Six lessons learned the hard way.
Relationship struggles: I met many girls before I finally found someone willing to bet her life on me. That took years of heartbreak and rejection.
And just when I thought everything was stable—when I finally had a successful business and a loving partner—new problems would appear. Family problems. Relationship problems. Business problems. The cycle never seemed to end.
But something strange happened over time. I started getting used to it. And inside me, something began to grow—a deep understanding of how the world really works.
The Turning Point: Finding Wisdom in Unexpected Places
I met many great people who inspired me, either directly or through their books. People like Mingyur Rinpoche, Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev, and many others. I also learned a lot from the Usui Reiki tradition taught by Master Rick Rivard.
Each time I stumbled on a problem, I sought solutions. I learned from masters across different traditions. I was enriched in so many different ways.
But one experience stands out above all others.
When Everything Seemed Hopeless
I was in despair because of a business problem. My competitors had more capital than me. They easily took my market away with their huge financial resources. I was at risk of losing everything—the business that supported my family, the dream I had built from nothing.
How could you not feel frustrated and hopeless in that situation? No solution in sight. No hope on the horizon.
What Sadhguru Taught Me
In desperation, I joined a yoga class taught by Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev. My motivation was simple: I just wanted a distraction from my despair. I wanted to calm my anxious mind.
But I got much more than I expected.
In that class, I didn’t just learn yoga. I learned a critical mindset—how to build the confidence to tackle any problem, no matter how overwhelming it seemed.
Sadhguru introduced me to the power of habit.
Here’s the insight that changed everything:
Any problem, no matter how big it is, can be broken down. If we chip away at it one piece at a time, it eventually breaks into smaller problems. And small problems? We have the power and confidence to tackle those. Our main task is simply to maintain consistency.
He taught us: To maintain consistency, start with the mind. Even if you can’t do yoga physically, you can do it in your mind. When you’re consistent in your mind, you’ll become consistent in your actions as well.
How the Power of Habit Transformed Me
Step by step, I developed myself using this new mindset. Gradually, I was able to overcome my frustration and desperation.
I restarted my business from the ground up:
- I met new investors who believed in my vision
- I found reliable suppliers who shared my values
- I built relationships with new client networks
I couldn’t win with money—so I stopped trying to. Instead, I started building my reputation on integrity and exceptional service. That was something money couldn’t buy.
Here’s the beautiful part: doing things once is good, but doing them many times—making them a habit—is something else entirely.
I found myself empowered by the power of habit. I realized I could do anything as long as I remained consistent. For the first time in my life, I felt capable of more than I ever imagined.
Despite being overwhelmed by the cruelty of the world in the beginning, I now felt empowered. The very struggles that had once crushed me had become the foundation of my strength.
What Happened to My Privileged Friends?
Now, let me tell you what happened to my friends who were born with privileges—the ones I once envied so deeply.
Axel (the handsome one):
His good genes made it easy for him to attract girls. But because it was so easy, he never learned how to build a meaningful relationship. He changed partners constantly. He got divorced. He experienced heartbreak after heartbreak.
For years, he had everything I wanted—attention, admiration, easy romance. But he had nothing truly valuable: a deep, lasting connection.
Recently, I heard he’s finally starting to learn how to maintain a good relationship. He’s realizing that a good partner requires more than physical attraction. It took him years to learn what I had to learn the hard way—but at least he’s learning now.
Harry (the rich one):
Harry continued his father’s company. He was a talented businessman, no doubt about it. But because he never experienced financial setbacks, he lived a life of constant stress and fear.
He once told me: “I’ve never experienced poverty. If I lose my wealth, I don’t know what would happen to me. That’s why I must maintain my wealth at all costs.”
He maintained his wealth—but at what cost? His mental health was compromised. His relationships suffered. The fear of losing everything haunted him every single day.
He was rich, but he was trapped. A prisoner of his own privilege.
What I Learned
Looking back at my journey—and watching my friends’ journeys—I’ve come to understand something profound:
Privilege is not always a gift. Struggle is not always a curse.
If I had been born with good genes and easy romance, would I have learned how to build a meaningful relationship? Probably not. I would have taken love for granted, just like Axel did.
If I had been born into wealth and never experienced financial struggle, would I have learned the power of habit and consistency? Probably not. I would have lived in constant fear of losing what I had, just like Harry does.
My struggles—the business failures, the romantic rejections, the financial hardships—they weren’t punishments. They were lessons. They were the things that shaped me into who I am today.
The power of habit gave me freedom. It taught me that consistency beats talent. It taught me that small steps, repeated daily, can move mountains. It taught me that I am not a victim of my circumstances—I am the architect of my future.
Final Thoughts
If you’re struggling right now—if life feels unfair, if you feel invisible, if you feel like you were born without the privileges that others enjoy—I want you to hear this:
Your struggle is not your enemy. It is your teacher.
The things you’re learning through hardship? Resilience. Perseverance. Patience. Integrity. These are things that can never be given to you. They must be earned. And once you earn them, no one can ever take them away.
My privileged friends had to learn these lessons later in life—and in many cases, it was harder for them because they had to unlearn their entitlement first.
You, on the other hand, are learning them now. Right now. In the middle of your struggle.
That’s not a disadvantage. That’s an advantage.
The world is cruel, yes. But it’s also a classroom. And the students who struggle the most? They’re often the ones who learn the most valuable lessons.
So keep going. Keep building your habits. Keep being consistent. Keep chipping away at your problems one day at a time.
Your future self will thank you for it.
What struggles have shaped you? Share your story in the comments below—I’d love to hear from you.
Summary of Improvements Made:
- Stronger narrative structure – Clear beginning, middle, and end with emotional arcs
- Relatab