Recently, i met a guy who always complaining about his relationship with his wife, his boss, and about everything that he encountered. In the beginning, to show him that i am a kind person, i tried to give my ears. Try to understand him while practising my active listening skill. After, thirty minutes of conversation i started to bore myself with being a nice person. I need something to exit this conversation.

For me, this guy was not worth anymore to be listened to, he talked about his problems, by blaming people around him, who i thought was doing anything they could to support him. Its obvious, if you listened well to what people said, you may find some clues to their general situation and cross check it with a little bit questioning techniques. I do not think it is fair to blame other people of your misfortune, as everyone has its own time to get some misfortunes in their life, its just not the day.

later on, my judgement was proven correct, i met his boss, which is eventually a close relative to me. After a while, we started to discuss about her subordinate, from her, i managed to understand more about the situation, surprisingly, according to her, the guy did a lot of unprofessionally conducts in her company. When being reprimanded, he was always being defensive by pointing out how he had helped the company for years, and pointed out his boss fault. The reason why he hadn’t being fired yet, was because she still needed his skills at that time. She needed time to find his replacement.

At the time when i met her, she said, she was already find a substitute system in which his involvements in her business was minimalized, and he knew that, therefore he felt pressured and blurted out negative opinions about her everywhere he went. She still needed him, but not crucial anymore.

For me, people may feel it is their right to say anything about other people. In a free world, where you can’t be restricted to say anything to anyone. It is also other people right to counter that. There are many ways for people to get it back to you, some may directly confront you with menacing eyes ready to engulf you in a fight, others may conspire to bring you down silently.

It is another real life example how law of cause and effect work. It is better for us, to accept our misfortune, evaluations, or critics ,no matter how bitter it is ,rather than attacking back and blaming others in defensive mode. Spreading negativity everywhere, will not just harming and displeased others, importantly harm ourselves more.

Instead of planting a good seed for further cooperation and collaboration. The guy, planting hatred toward him, As las of cause and effect dictate, you have to reap what you saw. Its nothing personal here, its not a revenge, its just business.